Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I'm almost 9 and I don't have to listen to you!!!

Yeah. That summarizes the conflict between my eldest son and I last week. Clearly there are some respect issues that need work.
I tried to be calm. At one point I felt my blood boil at the evil glances he shot my way and at the disrespectful words he hurled at me. And then I heard my voice, the volume rising right along with the feelings churning inside. I stopped mid-sentence and forced myself to speak calmly, without sarcasm or anger. Wow was that difficult!
When he persisited with his rotten attitude, I had to follow through with a consequence I told him he would face. So I spent the better part of a morning cleaning out his room. I removed all his toys. All.
Too harsh? I don't know. I had to do something to let him understand that his treatment of me had to change. I needed a concrete way to show him that actions and attitudes have consequences. And I explained to him that good actions and attitudes have good consequences.

Today has been better. There has been no eye rolling, no whining about every math problem or copywork sentence. He has said 'yes ma'm" and has tried to have a good attitude. I see him trying. I've even given back some of his toys.

I will still do my part and change our schooling approach to match his maturity level. I will watch to see what works for his learning style (not mine). I am left with the overwhelming sense of how much I need to learn.

Really, though. This is hard work. Impossible without the grace of my God.

1 comment:

kimberly said...

oh honey. even you have wonderfully behaved children, this evil side comes out on occasion. It is so hard to be the "mature" one. just remember, to punish them for bad behavior is to love them. too many kids dont get that kind of love. you will do great! i have taken my kids' toys away many time!;-p love you!