I was in tears yesterday. Sure, it was probably due to the hormones that have my emotions on edge right now, but my neck hurt! Still does, but seems to be subsiding. You know that place where you don't know if it would be better to remain absolutely still or try and gently, ever so gently move around to see if the pain would ease itself out? Yeah that's where I am. So when Gaylen let me know of an invitation for he and Charlie to go fishing this a.m., on our 11th wedding anniversary, I could care less. I'm glad they got to go have boy time. Kait and I stayed home to watch movies. And keep heating pads on my neck.
I have been anxious to meet my baby but for the last two days I've prayed not to have this neck pain and the pain of labor at the same time! Gaylen said,"wonder how many really big contractions you'd have before you'd completely forget about the hurting neck!" Probably true, but I sure didn't want to try that one out!
I've been reading about labor and reminding myself what I'm in for. I've contemplated the age old question of natural or epidural-assisted labor. I think I was scared of a needle in my back, but look on my past two natural labors as positive experiences. I remember the pain, but I also remember the incredible rush of knowing that my body did what it was supposed to do and brought a human being into the world. This time I'm not so scared of an epidural. I've wondered what I would say if the Dr. asked me if I wanted to assist labor with Pitocin. I don't know. There are so many view points out there that are conflicting. I just don't know. I'm praying that I won't be faced with that decision, that labor will just start and progress quickly, like with the other two. I don't think any less of women who have chosen to get an epidural-I don't know how their labor felt. I certainly don't think any higher of myself for not getting an epidural. That's just how my story played out.
Last night, in the middle of my neck muscle spasms whenever I tried to get comfortable. I was all for numbing the pain from the eyeballs down. Gaylen just rubbed my neck in silence. Smart man!