Saturday, June 13, 2009

Jekll and Hyde

There are times when it feels like we are living with two different infants. One is calm and smiling. The other is back-arched, limbs stiffened mouth open wide screaming. Screaming like his limbs are being ripped off.
I've said that my mantra right now is "I just don't know." There are so many things to which I just do not and may never find the elusive answer. Although my goal is not to be whiny, one purpose of this blog is to remember this time period so I will continue. If you don't want to hear about the difficulties we're having with colicky baby behavior, stop now!

I don't know if the Prevacid is working. I may need to ask the Dr. about the dosage. It seems to help a bit, since we've had fewer inconsolable crying jags with it than without it. We still do have periods of inconsolable crying.
I don't know if Mylicon is working for him. I've taken to giving it to him before feedings as a friend mentioned it worked for her babies. I think it might help some.
I don't know if I need to limit dairy further in my diet. I already am abstaining from drinking milk, milk in my morning bowl of cereal, cheese, ice cream (yeah I did tear-up a little at that one. Oh how I miss ice cream). I know there are all sorts of other ways dairy is in our diets. When I have any of the aforementioned dairy sources the baby's crying brings me to tears.
I don't know if the colic we are still experiencing is just normal baby crying. I know babies fuss and cry. I'm not expecting a perfectly angelic baby.
I don't know to what extent the other foods I am eating are affecting my breastmilk. I also don't know, if the foods I eat are affecting my breast milk, how a 2 month has such a discerning palate!
I don't know if milk overproduction and a too strong let-down reflex are a small portion of his fussiness at some feeding times. I don't know how to counter these, as I thought my body is supposed to "just know" what he needs and is eating. I thought it would adjust accordingly (maybe I just need a bit of patience in this!)
I didn't think I could keep breastfeeding, but then we tried giving him soy formula and he got constipated. That was bad crying too. I would rather breastfeed than deal with that. We got a baby swing for him and that helps. He is starting to focus on what is happening around him and that helps too- distracts him from everything else, I think.

I do know that I will survive this. I do know that my sanity will be intact. I do know that there will come a day that I sleep all night long. I do know that it is worth it when Miah's big, deep blue eyes look into mine and make my heart flutter. I know that somewhere in his little heart he knows how much we love him and that we're doing all we can to help him adjust to this big, bad world. I know that he is our gift from God and God knows what He's doing.

2 comments:

Mommy Reg said...

I know those feelings and thoughts you mentioned. Hang in there with the breastfeeding, it is the best possible food for him. In a couple of weeks your production will slow down to where it needs to be. Your body is just taking a little time trying to figure it all out. Mine did with Little G too. At one point the peds nurse suggested I pump for the time she usually nurses on one side to see how much she was getting, because she was getting over full. I pumped an 8 oz bottle! She was only about a month old at that point. I cut her nursing time in half and only nursed one side at a time so she would get the hind milk. Within a few weeks everything slowed down to where she needed it to be.
Remember, what ever works, do it. If it doesn't work don't do it. Also, remember I am praying for you. :) I wish we lived in the same proximity of each other. I would be over to help you out in a heartbeat.

kimberly said...

hey honey....hard stuff...i had the same issue with peyton and the incosolable crying...only hers was not due to reflux....i think she is just stubborn!
so, just a suggestion....you might look at trying almond milk....if the dairy is upsetting his tummy, and the soy is constipating him...you can get almond mild at the health food store, and sometimes even at the groc store. I know it is fully nourishing and a wonderful suppliment for those who cannot handle dairy. Christopher is allergic to dairy and that is what lindsay puts in his cereal...furthermore, since she refuses to give her children formula, when carter started having some of the same issues, she put him on almond milk. He was as healthy as a horse, and no issues with the refux stuff....
I know not everything works for every kid....but it is all natural, and if you get desperate, you might give it a shot.

i cant wait to come see that little guy....love you! hang in there, because as the cliche goes....this too shall pass. and it will!!! it might just take a while! haha