Last week, as we tried to get back in schedule, was horrible. Nobody wanted to do anything, no one was obeying and attitudes were grumpy, argumentative and just plain bad. On Tuesday I even called the local public school and asked what the paperwork would be like to enroll kids who had been homeschooling in the middle of the year! (The principle was very nice and informative. He did say that he thinks kids in Kansas are also incredibly pressured when it comes to standardized tests- that was a major issue for Charles. Kaity hadn't experienced it as she finished Kinder only in public school.)
The Christian school in our area is just too expensive, even though I would feel so much more comfortable about enrolling them there than public. Overall, after prayer and discussion, my husband and I felt that it would be too much to ask them to start in the middle of the year. We'll be prayerfully considering what to do for next year, whether it be the Christian school, public school, or continuing with homeschool.
In all of it I blame myself for the struggles. If I was more consistent with my expectations, then I would have trained them to be more obedient. Yes they have a choice, but they will take the easiest route, unless I train them. I must keep them accountable to obey, to choose good attitudes. My personality is a laid back one, I am too lenient at times. I should say, I have been. I now see that it is more important for me to train the children than anything else.
The plan to work on forming and keeping good habits is still underway, largely because of the issues I've seen in my and the children's characters. The first habit we are working on is journal writing everyday. And with everything I am expecting more of them. I am expecting them to obey the first time they are asked and giving fitting consequences if they do not. I am expecting them to do better work-not letting them get by with half-hearted effort. I am expecting great things of them because of what I see in them, the potential I know they have. I see the amazing people God created them to be. I started out the new year with these higher expectations of myself and them. It may be that the struggle we are in now is the turbulence of getting from where we were to where we need to be. I look ahead and see more turbulence ahead. I know there will be more awful weeks, maybe the working to get through is just what we need to develop better character.