Cooking and Cleaning

Cooking and Cleaning have become a driving need for me right now. I keep thinking of things I want to have done before the baby comes. At this week's doctor visit I am at 1 cm and am 50% effaced, so progress is being made! I have relaxed a bit with homeschooling. I plan to read with them and practice math concepts like multiplication facts with Charlie and addition facts with Kaity.
Yesterday I cooked meals and froze them for future use. So far I have two chicken pot pies, two enchilada casseroles, meat sauce for pasta, quesadilla filling for at least 3 meals and today plan to make pizzas and freeze them. I am also in the process of making blueberry and cranberry muffins. My mother-in-law told me that she was making banana nut bread when she went into labor with two her kids (the other one was a planned c-section I think), so I'll be starting banana nut bread later today!
Needless to say my house smells wonderful and I really want to eat about a dozen hot blueberry muffins right now.
I feel a great sense of peace right now. I am not anxious or worried. I know that God is in control. I think ahead to the painful labor that is looming and don't dread it. Whatever happens, complications or not I know God's grace will not fail. I trust Him with my whole life, my whole family, my whole future. He is my strength. As much as I want to see the face of this precious creation God has been forming, I wait for God's perfect timing. His soverign plan is most important! I know God will work out all the details of transportation to the hospital (in time!) and God will make sure Gaylen is there with me and my kids are well taken care of. All is in His hands. I can't think of a better place.

Focus

The house is quiet, except for the sounds of bird's singing and the breeze drifting through the branches of trees in my backyard. The sunlight is golden, filtering in though open windows and doors. The trees have begun to put on their spring greens. It is a green that is bright and new, exuding life and hope. The little boy in my belly stirs, pushing against my flesh that cocoons him in safety and warmth. My hand goes to the movement, trying to discern if it is a foot or elbow, speaking out loud to him, aching to hold him in my arms.
The bigger kids in my heart are not just unnaturally quiet, their granny has taken them for a few hours. Her gift of time to me is priceless. I just have to decide how to best spend it. The first thought is a nap in the hammock under the spring-green trees and baby blue sky, with nothing but the breeze to disturb me. The idea that there are so few days before the little boy in me makes his debut fills my head with lists. I've been going a little easy on our school days, letting the kids soak up some of the peace from outside. I've also been listening to my body when it tells me to sit and rest. I think it will be easy to find a balance for the next couple of hours between work and quiet. I will, in all my pursuit of planning and working, keep the doors open to the breeze and to hope.

Oh the Justifications I could give!

I began two weeks ago with a re-vamped routine, a chart of our school schedule for the kiddos, charts for the kids' chores and even a customized checklist for myself. I wanted to post the schedule, but haven't had the time to figure out the best way to do that. Well, I haven't taken the time!
Mainly we alternate our schedule, following a routine for Mondays and Wednesdays and a different routine for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Fridays are great because they are set aside for art, science, and cooking projects and for catching up on any work or chores. The first week was incredible. I am in the 6th month of my pregnancy and am really enjoying the energy I feel now. I felt empowered to stick with our schedule and I even got some housework done that had been SOOOOO neglected! Even the first part of the second week was great. And then it happened...I stayed up too late one night (watching season 3 Lost episodes and youtube videos) and the next day I was completely unmotivated to keep the routine going. Oh the justifications I can give you for that day! We still managed to get most of our subjects covered (excluding art) but the housework suffered and the kids were not kept accountable to do the little chores for which they are responsible. I think this points out my need to schedule some down time, but the question is how to relax a little, without throwing out the entire routine and package.
That last sentence sounds like I am a wonderful scheduler and extremely organized. Not so. I must have routine to function. I must write a list or I will forget. many things. My checklist for household stuff gets ignored so much that it is laughable that I have one at all. I guess I just feel like I need a goal to work toward. This has been a recurring theme in my life, the one of getting organized, energetically tackling the plan to maintain organization and then hitting a bump in the road that gets me off kilter and causes me to abandon the entire plan. Then I start it again. The encouraging thing is that every time I get knocked down I don't stay down as long as I used to. I don't beat myself up with negative thoughts and pity parties. I am seeing God's hand in my life as I grow in His grace. O thank goodness for that grace!
So I fell again. I'll just get up, dust myself off and try again. I'm so glad God doesn't give up on me, even when I want to!